I am alone in a house full of people.
I live as I did when I was a child.
Always guessing, is today going to be
a good day or a bad day? What does
all the stamping on the floor mean. Is
she trying to get rid of a mouse or
something else or someone else. who
is she talking to when she talks out
loud? When she curses out loud?
When she screams? Is she capable of
hurting real bad? Or Damani? Would
she do anything to him? I can't answer
any of this. I feel like any minute
every minute I'm going to blow up
because I have no peace. No stillness
inside of me. No security I am alone
and lost in the middle of that Blvd. Forging
through across it alone no mother no father
to help me through. No one to hold my hand
while I cross the street. The Blvd that
swallows me up. I don't ask for any
help + theres no one around to offer
me any.Its too early in the morning.
A little girl-looking at all sides of
the street make sure there arent any
cars no danger. but she really
wants someone to hold her hand
Help her across the Blvd. Easy
no rush...no shakes, no stress.
Va ser nueve anyos que murio Mami. Trienta anyos que murio Papi.
Pase toda mi vida esperando para alguien que me cuidara, que me dara la mano,
que me ayudara cruzar la calle con seguridad.
Esa nina de 6 anos cruzo la calle de seis lanes.
Es tiempo de reconocer la fuerza de esa nina, el coraje de esa nina,
el valor y resistencia de esa nina de seis anos navegando ese mundo grande y confuso.
No puedo descuidar a ella, no mas. Es por ella que estoy aqui, viva.
Es por ella que puedo ver el mundo con ojos de esperanza.
Es por ella que pude criar un hijo sensitivo y creativo.
Es por ella que puedo ver un futuro positivo que veo lo positivo en la humanidad.
Es por ella que decidi no brincar,
de no realizar la fantasia,
de liberarme del profundo dolor y ansiedad,
volar de esa ventana,
en mi cuarto,
del apartamento en el quinto piso de nuestra vivienda en la 138 y Cypress Avenue en el sur del Bronx.
Es por ella que estoy aqui.
